Holiday Fun in the Bedroom

With the holidays coming up the stress level goes through the roof. A great way to relax and help someone else relax is thru a massage. I've given hundreds of massages in my lifetime and 9 out of 10 times they end in a great sexual experience.
   Here's a few tips for giving a great massage :
      1) Lubrication is key - just like for the main event. Most guys don't want anything food or flowery so you probably shouldn't use one of your own. Anything with vanilla or aloe is a great idea. You're best off with an unscented lotion like Oil of a Olay or Vaseline Intensive Care.
      2) Make sure to make it a full body massage. I always make it a point to massage every single part of the body. Many people leave out the hands and feet and those are where you have the most nerve endings so you want to make sure that you don't leave them out.    
  On the hands do a deep palm massage and wriggle down each finger. A lot of people like you to crack the knuckle very gently by pulling on the loosened fingers - not by bending it inwards. But make sure you ask what your honey wants first.  On the feet focus on the ball of the foot but don't leave the ankle or heel   out. For most of us are feet are the most used body part each day so don't skimp on them. Run your fingers between his toes and everything.
      3) Don't speed through it I usually spend about 10 minutes on each area. I start with the back then the arms, hands and head. Then I move to the legs and feet and finally I end with the lower back / buttocks area. Do not be scared of massaging his butt! The butt sits at the base of the spine so there's a lot of tension built up in there.
  4) After a 40 minute massage end by giving him some soft kisses on his neck and whispering in his ear. I guarantee you're efforts will pay off threefold in a sensual sexual release.

The Kiss of XXX

     Gentle. Soft. Calm. Delicately caressing my own tongue with sensual rotations.
      It is the most underrated yet integral part to lovemaking, the kiss. Most of us
learned to kiss in our adolescent years. We experimented with boys and girls in an attempt
to perfect our technique and because we experienced this at such a young age, maybe we
forgot how important it is or it lost it's excitement.
      Well I beg to differ. Nothing turns me on more than a passionate kiss from a
lover. I have only met a few men who have truly satiated my desire for erotic kissing and
those few men ended up being the ones that I had the most intense sex with.
      A deep lustful kiss is my ideal foreplay scenario - slowly, deliberately, genuinely.
The key to an amazing kissing session is that it is not hurried or rushed. The perfect
build-up as I run my fingers up and down his stomach while he caresses my thigh.
      I've spoken to quite a few people and I've found out that a bad kisser is a deal
breaker for a relationship and I 100% agree. I also don't just kiss anyone, like if I'm
having a one night stand I rarely will kiss the person because kissing to me is way more
intimate than having sex.
      That may sound weird to some people, but I can easily disconnect my truly
intimate feelings when just having casual sex and I don't think that person's reached that
level to be kissing them.
      The eroticism of a sensuous kiss can excite me to unparalleled levels of
lascivious pleasure which, for me, can replace any other kind of foreplay. Give me a great
kisser over someone who's great at oral sex any day.
      Over the years I've found that women kiss much more to my liking than most
men do. It doesn't feel so contrived or definite. I find with guys they are overly excited
about what pleasure is yet to come so they can't focus on the carnal moment of salacious
kissing.
      I think the key for guys to always remember is that the slower you take it, the
wetter we get. Don't anticipate the climax that you're soon to be feeling, instead stay in the
moment and take it slowly and passionately.
      If you really want to stand out in a girl's mind then brush up on your kissing
skills. I had a succulent make-out session the other day and I can't seem to get the guy out
of my head now. Remembering the groping and lush kisses is much
more memorable than just a good pounding. So guys keep that in mind.

A Pioneer of Pornography

    Betty Paige. Classic Pin-up Queen.
I want to pay homage to this brave woman who made her foray into the taboo world of Pin-up modeling in the late 50's.
    She risked ridicule by friends and family when she modeled for pin-up photo shoots and paved the way for all strong, sexually confident women to come.
    Betty is personally one of my heroes.

Tune in.. Turn on.. Get f**cked

     So we talked about what turns a man on now let's talk about what turns a
woman on. I'm curious if the same things turn most women on. Almost every woman I've
ever talked to about sex me the same thing.. that they feel like they don't get enough time
devoted to foreplay. It's true, so many guys just want to rush things because they get so
excited. A lot of them just don't understand that it's a physiological fact that we need time
to properly get aroused where as they can go from 0-100 in a few minutes. This is where
foreplay comes into the picture. Trust me, there are sometimes that we just wanna get
pounded hard and fast but we still need a little coaxing at the beginning.
      What turns me on is something completely different. I love when a man is
slightly aggressive and takes the reigns. As I've said before that in each sexual encounter I
feel that women are truly in control but I like the illusion that he is the one in control. I like
when a guy makes the first move on me not overly aggressive but letting me know that he's
calling the shots(even though he really isn't).
      The biggest part of what turns me on is just seeing a guy becoming aroused in
his pants by watching me or by something that I'm doing. I love having the feeling that
someone is eating out of my hand and hanging on my every move. The more I feel he's
becoming excited because of me, the hotter I get. Again it's the illusion of control. I may not
be physically controlling the situation but psychologically, I am.
      My other major turn on is pretending that we're being filmed or actually filming
 us having sex. I also love watching him and I in a mirror or off some sort of reflection.
Again, it's slightly exhibition/voyeuristic without being too exposed.
      Numerous times I've made videos or clips of me giving oral sex and sometimes
I'll play them back during foreplay of our next sexual encounter. There's something
mischievous and exciting about knowing others are watching, even if in reality it's just a
camera watching.
     Even if I'm not recording the tryst I like to role play that we're porn stars just to
get that feeling that all eyes are on me. Try it out next time.. get dressed up all sexy with the
hair and make-up and make the sexy faces and the sounds that you think are arousing. In
reality, you're just turning yourself on and nobody knows better what turns you on than
you do.

Unleash the beast

     Many women want to know what really turns a man on. I'll answer that easily -
EVERYTHING! No, but really I've come to find out that most of the things that women
think turn men on are wrong so here's what I've found in my venture to uncover the truth.
     As I have asked this question to men, I usually get at least one response in
common amongst all of them. Self-confidence. When a woman exudes the aura of loving
herself and when she believes she is blessing the man with the honor of having sex with her.
It's not just a cliche that the most beautiful thing a woman can wear is confidence. In
delving deeper I have found a common theme that many women don't talk about or even
like to admit and that is that most of us are not 100% secure with our bodies.
     I've found so many women (including myself) that are just not pleased with the
way they look naked. As for me I know when having sex I feel at my most vulnerable and as
though every single imperfection on my body is being magnified which can definitely
become a little unsettling. And who can let loose and have fun when they're focused on
their flaws? I have found that most of the best sex that I've ever had has been when I am
totally and utterly comfortable with the way I look, but that took some getting used to.
     What I did was figure out a way I could boost my esteem. I dolled myself up with a cute
outfit and did the whole hair and make-up as though I was getting ready to see my guy. I
put on music that really makes me feel like I got it going on and I shamelssly danced in
front of the mirror as though I was doing a naughty performance for my lover. The key is
to get completely comfortable in your own skin and to in turn love every nook and cranny
on your body. It's something that takes a few times to get used to and I suggest doing it
when you're home alone so you're not worried if someone is gonna come walking in any
second but it really helped me feel sexier. It's almost like practice for later on when you're
in the bedroom with your significant other.
     The second thing I heard from guys about what their turn on are is that we
really don't need to go all out with the extraneous stuff when getting it on. A heightened
sexual experience is contingent upon the level of intimacy and closeness in the room not on
what color nail polish you're wearing or if you can contort yourself into a pretzel. Guys say
they find a woman just as sexy with no clothes on than with all the lace and frills we feel the
need to put on for them. Now personally for me I don't get dressed up for him, I get dressed
up for me. I find that I feel more enticing and arousing with short skirts and push up bras
but to each his own. Coming from the male point of view, they don't really care what we're
wearing. Half the time they just rush to get your clothes off anyways. I also noticed that eye
contact is a huge part of intimacy especially when performing oral, men love to see you
looking up from below.
      All in all from what I've found the most important part to turning on your man
is exuding sexiness and that can only come from within you. Feeling, knowing and
unleashing the sex goddess within you is the key. And there is a nymph queen inside each
and every one of us, it's just up to us to get in touch with her and let her out of her cage.

     Over the years I've done consummate research - asking each and every person I've been with what they like the most and here's what I've found. Most men all say that they want more oral sex.. big surprise, right? So I asked women what was it about blow jobs that they didn't like and I found 3 main things in common with most. Some women said it was the taste, others said they feel as though as it's degrading while others said they just felt that they were lacking the skills to give a good one. I'm gonna cover all three of those now.
     First about the taste - there are tons of myths about what food and drinks that a guy can consume to make it taste better but that doesn't really help us out now does it? The simplest answer to this is easy peasy.. he doesn't have to do it in your mouth. I tend to find it more arousing to watch him finish elsewhere anyways but just remember, the man is just saying he wants more frequent oral sex not that he has to complete the act in your mouth.
     I'm one of those girls who just doesn't like the taste of someone else's skin so the key to not getting any unwanted flavors in your mouth is to lubricate, lubricate, lubricate! Here's what I do - get yourself some liquid lube, just the regular kind not with all those flavors unless you prefer that but the flavoring can get overpowering after awhile. The regular liquid lube doesn't taste like anything, maybe a little sweetness but that's it so you can take a small amount and rub it on him before you start.
     Now like I said before to lube, lube, lube but not just with the lubrication but with your own saliva. Spit is your friend!! The sloppier, the better. You will have a much easier time with your technique if he's sufficiently wet. If it's too dry you'll not only possibly get an aftertaste but you'll get a drag and too much friction which is definitely not pleasurable.
     The second thing I hear is that women feel that giving b.j.'s is degrading. To that I say - honey, if you think he's the one in control you are totally mistaken. When you have a man's penis in your mouth you are in total and utter control  of his world. This is his most prized possession, the reason he breathes oxygen into his lungs each day. If anything when a man let's you give him head, he is entrusting you with his very life. He's at his most vulnerable position he could be because at any moment you could bite off his very manhood.
     When I give a blowjob I show him with no words, only actions, who is really running the show. Some women say they don't like to be on their knees, that the position itself is a physical manifestation of being in a submissive decision. So don't do it on your knees! Nobody said that that's the position you must be in and I've found most of the time they find it more enjoyable when they're lying down anyways.
     The third reason women don't like doing this much sought after activity is because they think that they're not good at it. Practice, Practice! Research, Research! If you really want to give your man the best possible b.j. you can - do your homework. I have become very familiarized with all the parts of the male genitalia and have asked numerous questions to my partners.
      The only way you can truly give your man the best is by finding out what he likes. This is where communication comes in. Just be upfront about it - 'Baby, I want to please you the best that I can so tell me, what do you like? Fast? Slow? Hard? Soft?' It may seem like an awkward conversation but if you're not comfortable enough to have that conversation, then you're definitely gonna have problems in experimenting to find out what works.
     Remember, keep an open mind and keep the lines of communication open. Also take some time to browse through Cosmo articles or on line blogs like this to find out what techniques work for other women. As far as that goes, I'll get into my techniques later on in this blog, so stay tuned.